Herstory

DAY 94   Today is the day I’m going to stride into the sea. At least, that’s the plan.

I drive to a beach where I remember the nearest parking places and shortest path to the sea, because they have no real dunes there and that’s why it’s the most dangerous part of the Dutch shore. Every disadvantage has its benefit. 😉 BUT since the last time I was here it’s all changed to parking only for licencees, which I’m not. I choose to park illegal today (at the car park of the hotel I used to do my seminars some years ago) and the path is much longer than I remembered. It’s a painful walk, up to the dunes and down to the beach followed by a bumpy trip through the sand to the water. My knee and ankle are very stiff and the ligaments seem too short to stretch.

I take of my shoes and feel the cold soothing water caressing my feet. They’ve missed it, I’ve missed it. Standing in the surf, the wet sand adapts around the shape of my feet soft and easy, but the pull is strong as usual, so I take care to keep my balance. This feels so good! Big Smile. I would like to, but don’t dare to sit on the sand, because I’m not so sure of being able to rise with no support except the crutch, which I’m pushing into the sand a little too easy. After some time standing and walking carefully into the sea, with my three legs, I start walking back.

“I’m healthy. I’m healing myself. My legs are fine. I love my ankles. My feet are strong. I walk steady and stable. I’m very flexible and so are my legs. I am infinite healing power.”

Before every step I watch the sand and choose a spot where I can put my toes deeper than my heel, to limit the pressure and pain on the tendon of Achilles. I guess this way of walking looks like crazy and I laugh when I watch myself from above. It’s like I’m climbing a mountain, using my crutch like a hook and pulling myself upwards. Although it hurts I love to be walking barefoot in the sand. A girl asks me if I need help and I thank her very much for her kindness. I take a coffee at the beachclub, get back into my shoes, walk to my car and drive home. Lovely to be out in nature and happy to be back home in my silent space. PEACE.

To be continued …   (Part of my 100 days of healing tour)
© Jeannette van Uffelen

DAY 77  Every morning at awakening there’s that moment, where I move myself, feel and think: “Oh yes, that leg.” That stiff leg. Not that painful anymore, but that nasty uncomfortable feeling which I don’t get used to. In the night I’ve forgotten it all, happily, but when I wake up there is the constraint of the body. I try my best and give a twist to my thoughts: three weeks ago I wasn’t able to stand, had a cast around it, had to lay on my back. And 77 days ago my foot was a wound, with broken bones, torn ligaments and a lot of pain. Now only my leg is stiff and painful, but as good as whole. The bone is beautiful! The skin is gorgeous. The scarfs on both sides are thin lines, almost the same colour as the rest of the skin. I can turn on both sides, don’t need extra pillows anymore and I can even lay on my belly, sometimes.

Laying in bed I move my feet. Stretching backwards and curving toes, than bending up front and curling up. Not a nice feeling, but nothing compared to the pain at March 2. I succeed much more in doing this then just after the cast was taken off. I let my right foot join in, flexible and painless. I can be frustrated by thinking how easy and flexible it was, but I choose to admire my left foot for the beautiful recovery and progress.

With a crutch I waggel to the bathroom. It asks courage to stand on it again. And I say loudly to myself: “You can stand on it.” That’s what the fysiotherapist also says, but I tend to forget it, I tend to spare it when it hurts, but now I can stand on it. Going towards the pain is always better than pulling away from it. Avoiding never solves anything, it only delays and than you’re carrying it with you for longer. I can do it and I do it.

Showering while I’m standing is nice. I switch off the warm tap and leave my left leg under the cold shower until I’ve dried the rest of me. Sitting on a stool I dry my feet and walk back to my bedroom. It feels like summer so I put on my blue flower dress, bought in Honolulu. After my breakfast with Cypriot coffee I go out. Flip, my cat, comes with me.

I walk very consiously, try to lean on the crutches as less as possible and as much as possible on my feet, rolling of my feet at every step. I watch and feel how I do that with my right foot. I never pay attention to this. What actually is normal walking, how does it work? If you can do something and you do it naturally you don’t pay attention to it anymore. I’m on the road for about 45 minutes and I walk almost one kilometer. Meanwhile I check at the newborn in the neighbourhood; gooses, coots, lambs.

Every morning I meet at least one stranger on the go, who asks me if I can manage and what has happened to me. I tell them I broke my ankle and that last month I wasn’t able to walk at all and now I’m walking outside. And that I’m very happy about that and so it’s going a little better every day. Yes, it hurts. Or someone walks by, doesn’t ask for details, but wishes me the best. People smile friendly at me or nodd at me engouraging. What a beautiful neighbourhood I live in with such kind people.

I feel vulnerable, but because of all these kind people around me I feel protected when making my first fragile steps. I experience compassion and encouragement. And I focus on my progression and on how good it feels to walk here so calm and consciously. To have the time and to take the time. And to be totally in the here and now.

It is only 11 in the morning. I’m writing my blog, while I’m sitting with both bare feet in the sun. For Mothersday I got lavander oil and now I’m going to massage my feet with it and than just lay in the sun for awhile. Here and now. Don’t worry. Be happy.

To be continued …   (Part of my 100 days of healing tour)
© Jeannette van Uffelen

Foto: footsteps in the sand

This was the most shocking experience in the last twenty years for sure. I was sitting on the floor, had just fallen of the stairs and saw my ankle broken. My greatest fear was staring at me: I couldn’t stand up, I couldn’t walk on, I couldn’t run away.

I was in shock, but also I knew this was my challenge and my chance to change forever, to finally go there, go to the deep, changing myself. I’d been longing for it and trying to reach it, to do it, to change myself for so many years. I had no map, no idea of the route, but here it was, into my face. Don’t worry. Be open. Be wise. Do what you have to do.

And so my 100 days of healing tour started.

In 2010 I was asked to work in a project called ‘Living Lab’. As an Innovation Broker I was involved in projects to create Living Labs in the Medical Delta, to show and to proof the benefits of technical innovation for healthcare and elderly people, living alone. Although I put a lot of effort in it, after 2 years the project was ended and we didn’t have the results I was aiming for.

Because I believe in the benefits of living together in multi generational co-working & co-working places I founded We LOVE to LIVE HERE. In 2014 I established the foundation to make room for my vision and build the fundament to make it really work.

I made the Foundation a member of Eurocities and I started to give presentations in Den Haag, Delft (University of Technology), Manchester (Townhall) and Brussels (European Parlament) and worked on building my European network.

I’m not only dreaming about it, but I’ve been taking action to create a better world for all of us. It takes some time, but:

“Our wishes are presentiments of the abilities that lie in us, harbingers of what we will be able to accomplish.”

(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

In the videos below, there’s some information and explanation about the vision on creating Living Labs and how I started to think about a real time living lab community to live and work together with multiple generations.

It’s all in Dutch, but you can use the YouTube translation.

In Science Month October 2012 I opened a Living Lab for the public.

 

In this video the idea and function of ‘Living Lab’ is explained.

multigenerational, multiple generations, co-living, co-working, sustainability, sustainable living, community, style, life, living, creating, together, we love to live here

Mijn moeder heeft, zolang ik leef, ieder jaar een kerstboom staan. En er hangen nog enkele ballen of dingetjes in, die ik al ken uit mijn kindertijd. Een knutsel, die ik maakte op de basisschool van mooie dikke glimmende folie, vouwde ik ieder jaar weer een beetje terug in model. Zelf heb ik al jaren weinig of niets met kerst en ik heb nooit een kerstboom. Toen mijn kind klein was heb ik dat wel eens gedaan, maar ik vind het zo lullig voor de bomen. Met kluit heb ik geprobeerd, maar de boom overleefde de zomer niet.

Hij liet er zijn baard voor staan

Mijn broer houdt wel van kerst en viert ieder jaar de Heiligen Abend. En ieder jaar haalt hij ook de boom voor mijn moeder. Dit jaar bracht hij de boom niet zelf naar binnen, maar gaf hem aan de buurvrouw mee, die net naar binnen ging. “Wil je die even bij mijn moeder zetten?” Naderhand zei mijn moeder dat ze dat al vreemd vond. Mijn broer voelde zich niet zo goed.

Op 30 december zaten we met z’n allen bij een hele grote kerstboom in de aula van het uitvaartcentrum Haagse Duinen. Naast de boom stond de kist, waarin het lichaam van mijn broertje lag.

Schrijven helpt mij vaak, maar ik vrees dat dit vandaag niet het geval is.

Before I had this job as a Stress Release Specialist and this website (jeannettevanuffelen.com) I had a life and did some things. For the curious people I will tell you some more about myself and about what is or was important to me in my life.

I was born and raised in The Hague, The Netherlands. I left my hometown when I was 20 years old (to work in a psychiatric hospital) and came back 10 years later. I have spent some years in Greece, but never permanently lived there. Now I’m mainly based in The Hague, because it’s a good place to live, close to the sea and I have friends and family here. I parttime work abroad, because I also have friends and clients all over the planet and love to travel.

ondernemersprijs Haaglanden, chairman of the jury, entrepeneursaward, The Hague, business activity

I’m a writer, public speaker, certified trainer, ICT specialist, stress release specialist, advanced level 4 Faster EFT (Eutaptics) practitioner, thetahealer, iconpainter, certified conversational hypnotherapist and singer. I’ve worked in different compartments, like: mental healthcare, crisis intervention centres (for people who escaped from domestical violence), the council for the protection of children, information and communication technologie corporates, professional education for youngsters and adults. Since 2003 I’m an entrepreneur.

My greatest teacher

Most of all I still feel like the girl who follows her heart and approaches life as an opportunity for growth. The best opportunity for learning, growth and love was being the mother of my amazing daughter, who was born in 1996. She’s an adult now.

The child inside

I’ve been taking care of more children than just my own and always loved to have children and youngsters around. They keep me alert, flexible, open minded and connected to the child inside me.

In my career I’ve always had a place to work with children and youngsters and now I offer training to adolescents to deal with the stress in their final schoolyear and final exams. It’s a short training in stress release and I teach them how to use inspiring selftalk and tapping to relax.

Inner stillness

By the years I’m taking more time to be still, to paint and to write. Those things I also did a lot when I was a child and it feels good. The results are sometimes appreciated, which is nice and good, but for me the process of doing it is the goal and just enough.

In this menu (my blogs/before this) I give a brief collection of my activities in the past and some are still actual. I share my thoughts and experience in my blogs and vlogs.

In case you want to contact me, please respond below or mail me at: hallo@jeannettevanuffelen.com.